The
SPEEDO
25th April- 2 May
Issue 17

Message from the editor-
As we walk along the sidewalks, it’s hard to believe that it was only two months ago that the roads were frozen with a coldness that could freeze the nipples off an old witch. Now, it’s a pleasant chore walking to destinations that once were a burden. As the tables start to appear in the rynek, please take the time to sit down enjoy the sun and relax with a nice cold beer. After all, another six months of winter is just around the corner (will be here very soon).
These warm months also mean it’s time to give your house a thorough cleaning from top to bottom. It is amazing how much dirt and soot can accumulate on windows. SPEEDO is interested in everyone’s spring cleaning. If anyone would like to submit a before (winter months) and after photo (spring, now) of their house or flat, a congratulatory bottle of champagne will be given to the submitter if the before and after pictures seem worthy of a reward. Cheers!


Please sign up for clubs and lectures in the secretaries’ office… thanks!

Clubs-
Advanced Conversation Club with Sean:
Wednesday 26th April
19:30- 21:00

Camera Club:
Tour Gliwice with Jake and Rob! Take pictures of this beautiful city…
Thursday 27th April
11:00 in front of Secretaries’ office

Lecture-
“Stories from the religions of the world.” Presented by Tanya. Lean how to be afraid of anything different, for example:
Buddhism
Sikhism
Hinduism
And more
Friday 28th April
19:30-


Last week’s clubs-
Sports Club:
It was an awesome football session on Saturday. Everyone who was there played with intensity and fire.


Music Club:
Thanks to Marcin and his female counterpart for rocking “Something Different” on Saturday night.



Something about Ireland by Doris-
Two Irish teams were in the Rugby European Cup semi-finals; Munster and Leinster. Munster won the game.




New this week… Celebrity look alike (does this teacher look like star)
It has come to SPEEDO’S attention that some students think Matt has a slight (little) resemblance to a Mr. Brad Pitt. What do you think?
If you think a teacher looks like a celebrity, please tell SPEEDO and we’ll do the research. Thanks!



Deep thoughts…. By SPEEDO-
“If I ever opened a trampoline (large thing children jump on) store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps (bad women), which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.”




Picture of the week-
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer… too bad he has never cried

The
SPEEDO
April 18th- April 25th 2006
Issue 16


Letter from the editor-
Welcome back from the Easter break. I hope everyone had a great holiday. Now, back to hitting the books (studying) and learning to speak perfect English.

Clubs and Lectures-
Please sign up for all clubs in the office, thank you.

CONCERT CLUB
Come join Marcin and jam to his music!
Saturday 22nd April
“Something Different” http://www.somethingdifferent.pl/
Dolnych Walow 13
GOOD NEWS… FREE ENTRY!!!
20:00- ?



SPORTS CLUB
SPEED teachers are challenging all the students to a game of football, BRING IT!
Saturday 22nd April
Akademicka 26 Hala Sportowa
16:00- 18:00


Last week’s clubs-
BOOK CLUB
Well, book club was a complete success! A student actually showed-up (came) to talk about the book Pachnidto by P. Suskind…
It was about a man who discovers a scent which controls people’s moods. He makes it into a perfume and begins controlling people all over the world with seven dead bodies by the end of the book. It’s an intense, thought provoking, edge of your seat book.
Good job Tanya, now if we could only get more students involved.

Picture of the week-
Teachers enjoying their Easter holiday in the beautiful city of Prague.








Survey-
Where did you do on Easter?
Tanya- Stayed in Gliwice and got some R&R (rest and relaxation).
Matt- When to Prague and parted with three of the coolest teachers.
Lee- Went to Prague and parted with my friend from secondary school.
Holly- Went to Prague and was forced to drink lots of beer.
Sean- Went to Prague and came back with the name of “The Scotsman”.
Jake- Went to Madrid to experience Spanish culture.
Rob- Went to Madrid and found himself.
Jan- Stayed in Gliwice and ate the entire weekend.
Tim- Did the same as Jan…
Marcin- Doing nothing but eating and drinking.
Doris- Went to Italy for a friends wedding, we will be lucky if she finds her way back.
Susan- Ate, drank, watched films, and hiked a mountain.
Brian- Ate food

Deep Thoughts… By SPEEDO-
He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven--with a gun."

Insight into composting by Holly-
"Don't put animal bones or grease in your compost pile."


Health Advisory by Matt-
He’s back…after many months of being absent, our own health advisor Matt is back in action with all his wisdom and glory.
“Beer at night, coffee in the morning and pierogi ruskie during the day is the diet of all champions.”

The
SPEEDO
11th April - 18th April 2006
Issue 15


Letter from the Editor-
So, why are we here? If you’re reading this you’re either a student or teacher, so the answer is that you’re here to teach English or learn English. For a lot of people, learning a foreign language isn’t how they’d like to spend four hours of their free time every week. So why are you here and why are you wanting to learn English?
Here are some answers why:

- The majority of websites are written in English, there are over 1,000,000,000.
- Most books are either translated from English or into English.
-English is the key to the world of science. 95% of science articles written are in English and only 50% come from English speaking countries.
-International news networks broadcast in English.
- About 1,500,000,000 people speak English, another 1,000,000,000 are learning it.
-75% of the world’s letters and postcards are written in English.
- Almost all international conferences and competitions are conducted in English… for example the Olympics.
- Diplomats and politicians from different countries use English to communicate… for example the United Nations, NATO, etc…
- Travel easier because English is spoken in over 100 countries around the world.
…and the list goes on and on

Clubs-

BOOK CLUB WITH TANYA!!! 12th Wednesday at 14:00. Meet in front of the Sekretariat Office.

Deep Thoughts… with SPEEDO-
“It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.”

Survey-
What is your favorite Callan Question cont…
Susan- "Are you the kind of person who likes to put his nose into things that don't concern him?" (not necessarily in a bad way). Jan- "Do you like it when people pull your hair."
Tomasz- "What's your name, are you sure... are you QUITE sure?"
Jake- “When a man has rough hands, what is that a sign of?” and “How does a cowboy keep his cattle together?”

Picture of the Week-
Because SPEEDO’S photographer was off this week, we don’t have any new and exciting pictures… instead we will display the beautiful rynek in Krakow. Next week we promise to have something better.

Guess the Secretary-
Last week’s Secretary was… Ania
How long have you worked at SPEED?

"1 year"

What groups do you like the most?

"Don't have a favorite group, I like them all... some more than others."

What teacher do you like the most?

"Every teacher from Ireland."

Are there any students or teachers that you would date?

"Maybe, if I was not married."

What is your favorite food?

"Pierogi ruskie of course!"

What is your ideal night out?

"Going to the cinema for a long couple's night out."

Insight into Canada by Susan-

"Canada is the second largest country in the world behind Russia. You can fit Poland into Canada 33 times, but Poland has more people."

Astrology by Jake-
Easter Forecast

Capricorn: A problem with a very close friend or family member will be resolved this week. Go to the spa. You deserve some relaxation.

Aquarius: A mass of hard work looms before you like a mountain. The only thing to do is keep climbing, because in the end, the rewards will be many.

Pisces: A work colleague has an excellent idea for making a lot of money in a hurry. Listen carefully to him/her.

Aries: Now is the time to nurture yourself and others. Your caring instinct is high, and many loved ones will make their love known.

Taurus: A greatly respected woman will impress you with her wisdom. Listen carefully. She may be speaking just for you.

Gemini: A surge of physical activity, either exercise or work related, will give you a sense of feeling grounded and strong.

Cancer: You are at a point in your life that is wide open. Take any path you wish because luck is on your side.

Leo: A young, practical person from your past will deliver some bad news. The same person will also help you through it.

Virgo: A calm, wise man will be introduced to you at a social gathering. He has the answer to an important question you've been asking.

Libra: It's finally time to put the bonanza of ideas swirling through your head to actual application. You won't be disappointed.

Scorpio: All the difficulty you've had in your personal life is about to burn away. You will rise from the ashes as a new person.

Sagittarius: Now is not the time to spend money frivolously. Some of the best things in life are free.

Have a GREAT EASTER!!!

The

SPEEDO

4th April - 11th April 2006

Issue 14

Letter from the editor-
After having visited other SPEED Callan Schools, most recently Bielsko-Biala, SPEEDO has come to the conclusion that Gliwice is far superior. The students are the best, the secretaries are the most helpful (and beautiful), and of course the teachers are better.

The comment section of SPEEDO has been pretty empty. Come on (let’s go!) students, this is your opportunity to anonymously post comments about anything! Other students, specific lessons, overall observations, and of course the teachers.

If anyone got fooled on April Fool’s Day, please submit it to the comment section…





Clubs-
ICE SKATING CLUB!!! Why play football, rugby, or box when you can ICE SKATE?!
5zl to get in and 4zl to rent skates.
Friday, 7th April 2006
ul. Akademicka 26 (the only ice skating rink in town)


BOOK CLUB... YIPEE!!!!
Join Tanya Wednesday the 12th of April at 14:00 to talk about your favorite book.
.........(whoever comes will be given a prize)


Survey-
What is your favorite Callan Questions?

Brian: What am I doing?

Lee: Are all your toes the same length?

Matt: Do you get mad when somebody pulls your hair?

Holly: Why is it that we seldom know another person’s real self?

Rob: What's a reference library?

Marcin: What time is seed time?

Doris: Tell me something about goats.

Tanya: Do you generally like seamen?

Chris: If you came home and found your partner trying on your underwear, what would you say?

Picture of the week-
Last week’s PUB CLUB was wicked(cool) there were a lot of new, and old faces partaking in the drinking of granpa’s cough syrup(beer) which loosened the mouth a bit enabling free flowing conversations in English (everyone was speaking very easily).

Deep Thoughts… with SPEEO- (in honor of April Fool's Day)
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

Guess the Secretary-
How long have you worked at SPEED?

"almost 2 years."

What is your favorite group?
"don't have a favorite group, they're all my favorite, but if I had to choose one I'd choose UPOS."

What’s you’re favorite song?
"hoobastank... Reason."

What’s your favorite fruit/vegetable?

"Apple/ carrot."

If you had to be stuck on a deserted island with only one teacher who would you choose? Why?

"Doris." "because she is a great person and I like her very much."

Insight into England by Tanya-

"England had control over half the known world at one point in history."

what happened...